Creating a magical morning routine is essential to achieving a successful and abundant life. Waking up a little bit earlier than usual will give you more time to focus on your goals as you begin the day with more energy, ease, and peace. A morning routine can help reduce stress levels, improve mental clarity, and soothe any anxieties you may be experiencing as you start your day. Having a more structured morning helps you set the tone for the day, and allows you to control your schedule, rather than having your schedule control you. As you start each day feeling fresh and energized, you can better focus on the tasks ahead and where you need to prioritize and place your time and energy. This will not only increase your productivity throughout the day, but it will increase your self confidence as well. It's a win win!
This is a new beginning to a more energetic, productive, and abundant life. Plus the great news is, you do can all the things I suggested below while still in bed! Perfect right!
Added benefits to creating a magical morning routine:
- It reduces stress levels and allows you to ease into your day feeling more grounded
- You gain more time so you're not rushing around and forgetting things or running late
- You're taking good care of your mind, body, and soul, which is so important
- You will give yourself adequate time to make healthy choices for breakfast
Here are Six ways you can create a magical morning routine.
I'm big on offering words of gratitude as soon as I wake up. The fact that I received another day on this earth is something to be thankful for in itself. You don't need to spend a lot of time on this one, it's simply a matter of saying, or writing in a journal, a few things you are grateful for. It can be anything from your comfy warm bed, to the vehicle you have that gets you to your work place. Once you start finding things to be grateful for, you will find even more things. The list really is endless! This not only helps you start your day off on a more joyful note, but the more you are thankful for your blessings, the more you begin to live in a state of gratitude. This state will leave you feeling overly appreciative for even the smallest of things, and it will also increase a feeling of abundance overflowing in your heart.
"My life is a gift. I will use this gift with confidence, joy, and exuberance."
Do some light stretches in bed
Starting your morning off by doing a few light stretches has many health benefits. Not only does it relieve tension in your muscles, but it gets the blood flowing to the body including the brain. Morning stretches can also be helpful when it comes to alleviating aches and pains in your joints and muscles as this tends to happen after the body has been at rest for a long period of time. Light stretching provides your body with more energy and can prevent lethargy and feelings of fatigue. Here is a great article that shares ten stretches you can do in bed. Article.
"Today I align myself with freedom, growth, and joy."
Listen to a soul soothing meditation
There's nothing like listening to a beautiful and soothing meditation as you begin your day. Meditation is widely known for calming the mind and body so listening to one upon waking will help you to feel more grounded and peaceful as you ease into your day. Often times we can wake feeling unrested, irritated, and foggy in the brain, meditation will help balance your body, harmonize your energy, and calm your mind. You don't need to be an "expert" when it comes to meditating, it's simply a matter of being present and allowing what comes up, to come up. You are not aiming to completely clear or empty your mind of any thoughts, your goal "should" be, just to BE. There is nothing else for you to do. I've made an Affirmation Meditation specifically for creating a magical morning routine where I share gentle, but powerful affirmations spoken from a place of love and compassion. You can find it here. Affirmation Meditation
"Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day."
Set intentions for your day ahead
Setting intentions activates a part of your receptivity which is your willingness and ability to take in ideas and information. If you start your day off without having any intentions, it's like a ship leaving the shore without a destination in mind. Having clear intentions allows you more control of your day, and it also encourages you to be fully aware of your morals and core values. Intentions give you purpose and the inspiration and motivation you need to achieve your goals, dreams, and desires. Samples of intentions are: I intend to manifest a really good day, I intend to live and lead by example, I intend to be my best self today, I intend to serve from a place of love and joy, I intend to create a new morning routine that allows me more freedom and time for myself. Whatever your intentions are, say them with conviction and allow them to come straight from your authentic heart. I recommend doing this while listening to a meditation as it puts you in an ideal state of mind for planting the seeds of your intentions. The more you are relaxed and at ease, the easier it should be to recognize your purest desires and truths.
"My mind and my heart will remain open today."
Use positive affirmations
Another element to creating a magical morning is by using affirmations to start your day off in a positive direction. Affirmations are statements that affirm a truth and we should never underestimate the power of words. Many of us have Limited Beliefs that may have stemmed from childhood, beliefs such as, we aren't good enough, we aren't smart enough, we can't do this, etc. Although we really can believe these things, it doesn't mean they're true. You can work on changing your limited beliefs by recognizing and acknowledging them, and by choosing new beliefs that better serve you purpose, and align with who you really are, and you are a beautiful soul full of love, wisdom, and grace. Choosing to start your day off by telling yourself positive and healthy thoughts is a sure way to lead to more happiness and joy in your life. Before you know it your "negative" thoughts will show up less, and when they do, just ask yourself "does this thought serve me purpose?" and then use your affirmations as a means to reframe your limiting beliefs. Start your morning by telling yourself healthy, loving, and kind thoughts that feed your heart and soul.
"My thoughts do not control me, I control my thoughts."
Choose that it's going to be a great day
I hear it often, someone claiming it's going to be a bad day before the day has even begun. The thing is, if you have already decided it's going to be a bad day, then chances are, it will be! When our mind has already determined how the day will be then we look for "evidence" that proves we are right. Perhaps you got all red lights on the way to work, or your coffee spilled on your favorite shirt, these are all things that we can believe contributed to our bad day. However, if you wake up choosing it's going to be a great day, well, watch what happens. You will start to focus on all the good things that happen throughout the day like the person who held the door open for you, or the lovely man or woman who smiled at you while your were buying your morning coffee. It really is all about mindset and perspective, and how we choose to see things. Do we look for the good in each experience or encounter, or do we look for the bad in all things. A lot of my coaching is based on The Law of Attraction as I really feel it's at the root of all things. The LOA states that, Like Attracts Like, therefor, you attract what you focus on, so why not wake up choosing it's going to be a great day and be open to what unfolds from a more neutral and open space within your being.
"I am excited to wake up each morning and experience this beautiful life, that I am creating with my thoughts and visions."
Bonus tip! Get yourself a new calendar and set a date to start your new routine. Mark off each day you follow your routine and make the intention of committing to it for 21 days. According to Dr. Maxwell Maltz, it takes 21 days to create a new habit so if you keep it up, you may find this becomes your new way of being. Plus, our brains love to see things completed and this will actually train your brain to want to continue to see those marked off days as it feels a sense of accomplishment. If you miss a day or two, don't worry about it, just keep moving forward with your best intentions at heart.
I hope my suggestions help you on your journey to creating a magical morning! Have a beautiful and abundant day!
Article written by Vanessa Marie Dewsbury
Check out my Affirmation Meditation on YouTube for Creating A Magical Morning.
Be sure to Subscribe to my YouTube Channel and click the little bell so you'll be notified when a Meditation has been uploaded.
What is Self Love anyway, and what exactly does it mean? Self Love means, loving and caring for yourself like you do someone you love. It means holding space for yourself from a place of love, compassion, empathy, and non-judgment. It's also doing healthy things for yourself that foster and nourish your mind, body, soul, and spirit.
Love for self is so important, yet many of us don't give to ourselves the way we give to others. Why is that? Why do we not feel deserving or worthy of our own love? Well, it can be for many reasons, maybe we weren't loved the way we needed to be as a child and so we carried this unconscious belief that we aren't worthy of good, healthy, and healing love. Maybe it's because we give to others so much of our lives, that we just don't know how to receive the very thing we give. Whatever the reason, it can be changed, and you can learn to love yourself more by engaging in some of the suggestions I have shared below.
First thing I want you to know is that you are, without a doubt, worthy of the greatest love of all and it's up to you to give yourself what you innately need and desire. When you love and accept yourself for all that you are, you build a strong sense of confidence that is unwavering and unstoppable. It's beyond powerful. Believe me, I've been there, I've done the work, and now here I am sharing with you. I'm also still a work in progress, as we all are, but for me, it's not about perfection, it's about learning and growing as we go, and doing the very best we can from where we are.
So, how do we cultivate Self Love? Here are Six helpful steps.
Be conscious of what you consume
Nurturing and caring for yourself will not only grow your love for self, but it will also enhance your self-esteem, confidence, and energy. Begin by being super conscious and mindful about what you consume, and not just in regards to food/beverages, but what you consume and allow in your life in terms of friendships and relationships, your "newsfeed," your social life, and every other important area that means something to you. Be in control of what you expose yourself to and set healthy boundaries whenever, and wherever you feel necessary. Making healthy, intentional, and conscious choices will empower you as you learn to understand your own worth, and the value you have to offer the world. Remember, this is your life and you get to choose how you want to live it.
"I honour and cherish what my mind, body, and soul ask of me and I choose to consume things that bring me wellness, health, and happiness."
Get in touch with your spiritual side
Many of us tend to lose connection with self over the years. We get sidetracked with life and slowly conform to what society expects of us. This often leaves us feeling stressed, anxious, and even depressed. The importance of having a connection to your spiritual side, whatever that means to you, is crucial because our spiritual and soulful side is, at the very core, who we really are. Try different things that can help you reconnect within such as listening to Mediations, here is one I created for Self Love & Inner Healing, journaling your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and experiences, taking walks alone in beautiful nature, or maybe it's listening to inspirational content or reading spiritual books that help guide you back home to the heart and soul. When you explore your spirituality, it will take you on a journey of discovering things about yourself that you may have temporarily forgotten. It will also help you appreciate yourself more and empower you to express all parts of who you are.
"Being myself involves no risks. It’s my ultimate truth, and I live fearlessly."
Connect with community
I'll be honest with you, in my mind, community is everything. Think about how it was back in the day when there were tribes of people working together as a team. They hunted together, cooked together, helped each other build homes, and they cared for each other like their own family. When it comes to self love and community, I believe it's important that we connect with like-minded people who lift us up and encourage and inspire us to be our best self. Connecting with community will make you feel like a part of something important and truth be told, we all just want to belong, and to be loved and accepted for exactly who we are. Seek out different workshops in your area that host meet ups which are aligned with your interests, or perhaps there is someone you see as like-minded and you would like to ask them out for coffee or tea. Whatever it may be, take the first step and seek out opportunities and experiences that will help you grow and evolve while on your beautiful journey to self love and acceptance.
"I welcome people, things, events, and experiences that help me heal and grow."
Engage in something you love
Engaging in anything you love is an instant self-esteem and confidence booster. It allows you to express your creativity from a place of authenticity, love, and joy. Self-esteem and self-love often go hand in hand, and indulging in a hobby you're good at will also boost your endorphins and bring out the best and most beautiful version of you. Think of some hobbies and activities that bring you true pleasure and joy and engage in them as often as you can. Connect to your inner child and embrace all that sets your heart and soul on fire. The act of play, will bring about a feeling of lightness in your spirit and increase your love for self.
"The love within me flows through me in every situation."
Give yourself permission to forgive and let go
We're constantly holding on to so many things from our past, things that hurt us and caused us pain, grief, and trauma. Holding on to these "old emotions" and experiences can actually create a feeling of heaviness in our energy body. In turn, it can cause us to have low-self esteem, self doubt, and it can even result in physical ailments and dis-ease. Although we may do this as a way to protect ourselves from being hurt again, it's really only holding us back from moving forward and loving and accepting ourselves for who we are. When we give ourselves permission to forgive and "let go," we release the heaviness in our heart that we have been carrying with us. It's not saying what someone did to you was okay, it's saying, I choose to love myself enough not to allow the actions of another to take up anymore time, space, and energy in my mind, body, and soul. It's also important to first acknowledge and feel the feelings so that you can let them go. As a part of my coaching program, I ask my clients to write letters of forgiveness to themselves, and to others. After the letters are written they are asked to either cut them up, or burn them, (in a safe place of course). This process allows you to release the pain and trauma through the act of writing as it creates an "energetic release" which is really quite powerful and profound. Set your soul free through forgiveness.
"Forgiveness will heal my heart and release all pain and sadness."
Make a list of ALL the things you LOVE about yourself
I bet if I were to ask you to list five things you don't like about yourself, it might be an easy task, but if I were to ask what you do love about yourself, how hard would that be? Funny how that works. So, this is what I'm encouraging you to do, I want you to make a list of every single thing you like/love about yourself, write it all out. Creating this list will help you recognize your wonderful qualities and characteristics as well as your own unique gifts, talents, and awesome abilities. This isn't about being vain, or feeding your ego, it's seeing yourself for the beautiful soul you truly are and embracing what makes you, you. Make your list today and place it where you can see it every day as this will help you see your own value, build your self confidence and enhance your self esteem.
"I am authentic and confident in expressing who I am."
I hope these suggestions will help you on your journey of self love and acceptance. Share with me below what you do to take care of your mind, body, soul, and spirit.
Written by Vanessa Marie Dewsbury
Check out my Affirmation Meditation on YouTube for Self Love & Inner Healing. Be sure Subscribe to my YouTube Channel and click the little bell so you'll be notified when a Meditation has been uploaded.
The Universe is full of abundance, you can find it everywhere you go, and everywhere you look. The truth is, many of us focus on all the things we don't have, instead of focusing on all the things we do have. When we focus on what we don't have, we tend to live in a state of lack with the desire to accumulate more and more in material things, never feeling satisfied or content. However taking time to recognize and acknowledge all the blessings you do have, will create an abundant mindset that will leave you feeling like you have enough, and that you are enough. This beautiful state will bring you more freedom, joy, and inner peace.
Here are Six things you can do to attract more abundance in your life.
Develop an attitude of gratitude for everything in your life
Begin to experience more abundance right now by being thankful for all the blessings you already have. Whether it's your lovely home, your friendships, your children and your partner, the heat that warms your home, the food you eat, or the water you drink, whatever it may be, be thankful. When you begin to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, you eventually become this state and in turn, you feel overly appreciative for even the smallest of things. The more you practice this "gratitude mindset" the more beauty and abundance you will see, and experience, every single day. The sunrises will seem brighter, the trees will appear more green, even your foods will taste better when you stop in the present moment and are thankful for every experience you encounter. You can also begin by offering appreciation each morning and being thankful for all that you have in your life, and all that you are.
“I am living my life in a state of complete abundance.”
Generosity is key
Don't stop the flow of abundant energy by keeping it all to yourself. Give! Trust me, the more you give, the more you get, and that doesn't mean you get more in material things, what it means is, when you give, you are giving from a place of love, and in return, you receive the "energy of love." This is how the Universe keeps itself in Karmic Balance. Have you ever noticed that when you engage in an act of kindness, you have this overwhelming feeling of joy? Well, that's the Universe rewarding you for your act of love, and the person on the receiving end will experience a similar feeling. It's not about what you give, it's in the act itself that is rewarding. Keep the abundance flowing so that it circulates back to you and allow the ebb and flow of this energy to do its thing. The more you practice giving, the more you'll stay in vibratory harmony with the all-giving Source of everything.
"The wealth of the universe is circulating in my life and flowing to me in abundant and prosperous ways.”
Affirm it to be true
Affirmations are powerful as they affirm a truth. If you have the belief that you are not abundant, you have unconsciously created a limited belief that may have prevented you from achieving abundance or success, and it may have even blocked you from seeing all the beauty and blessings that are all around you. Using positive affirmations will help you to create a new and empowering belief system that will better serve you purpose. This will also put you into vibratory alignment with Source as, Like attracts Like, therefor the more you affirm that you are abundant, the more you will experience this state and divine feeling. Your goal is to eliminate time and space between what you desire and that from which you manifest into your life. Meaning, in this very present moment, there is nothing to achieve or become, you already are what you seek.
“I am attuned to the frequency of love and abundance.”
Get curious and creative
If you are in a place where you want 'more' of something in your life, then maybe it's time to try something new and get creative. It's human nature to seek outwardly for fulfillment and reward, something to make you feel "full" and content. If you find this is you at times, reaching externally for gratification, try turning inwardly and connect to your curious and creative side that we all innately have within us. Maybe it's taking up a painting class, or attending a local workshop, or perhaps it's trying out a new recipe, or even journaling out your emotions. Whatever you feel drawn to, do that and have fun with it. You can consciously create more abundance when you tap into the gifts you have, and when you express your curious and creative side from an authentic place. This not only brings you joy, but it feeds your soul and spirit.
"I am worthy of love, joy, and fulfilment."
Clear out the old and let in the new
Is your home filled with clutter and "too much stuff?" Then perhaps it's time to release the old, and make room for the new. And the new can simply mean, new energy, not more things and stuff. Do you feel overwhelmed in cluttered spaces, like you can't breath? Well, there's a reason for that...everything IS energy! The more energy packed into a space, the less energy for you. When you clear your space, you are energetically releasing things that may have blocked you from feeling abundant, which would seem counter intuitive, but it's not. It just means, too many things can cause a heaviness and can weigh you down, when you release and clear, you feel lighter in your energy, and in your heart. Choose a space to work on and take your time intentionally going through each item and asking yourself if it's something you need, or if it's something you can choose to release.
"I am grateful that I am healthy, happy and successful."
Stop comparing yourself to others
Comparison is the thief of joy. But so many of us do it! It's hard not to at times, we see the filtered lives of others running through our newsfeed on a daily basis, but what we are mostly seeing are the highlights, not all the truth that goes on behind the screen. Comparing yourself to others not only takes up your time and energy, but it takes away from the time and energy you could be putting towards your own goals, dreams and desires. It is not a productive thing to do, or a healthy mindset to have as the comparison mindset often comes from a place of lack, fear, and desperation, where an abundant mindset knows there is always enough for everyone. Remember, everyone is on their own journey, and if you believe in yourself and your dreams hard enough, you will achieve all that you set out to do. Also be sure to commend yourself for all the successes you have already achieved and attracted into your life, never sell yourself short! Instead of comparing yourself to others, just be the best you can be and see yourself as the abundant and successful soul you already are.
"The vision within me is creating the world around me."
Written by Vanessa Marie Dewsbury
Check out my Affirmation Meditation on YouTube for Success, Prosperity and Abundance. Be sure Subscribe to my YouTube Channel and click the little bell so you'll be notified when a Meditation has been uploaded.
I realized many years ago that true success is created and cultivated from within. It is not defined by the size of your house or the kind of car you drive, true success is in the richness of your life experiences and in the smiles of those you love. It’s important to know this because it helps us understand that success isn’t something we need to constantly chase or strive for externally, true success is found within us, and from having gratitude for all that we already have.
I’m sharing with you today seven secrets to achieving success from the inside out.
“Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
Successful people take risks. They live in the space of possibility and greatness and they are not afraid to step outside their comfort zone. One who takes risks doesn’t believe in failure, in fact they see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow, and to do things differently and better than before. They are fuelled by their passions and they burn their own trail instead of following the foot steps of others. They are inspired by those who push the boundaries of possibility and reach beyond themselves in order to achieve greatness. If you want to become successful in your personal, business, or spiritual pursuits, you will need to muster up the courage to take risks that can potentially catapult you towards your desired outcomes.
always be authentic
“Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity.”
Janet Louise Stephenson
To obtain the highest form of success in all areas of your life, it’s important to remain authentic and true to yourself. If you operate from any other frequency people will feel that vibe in all things you do. They will feel the inauthentic energy that you are giving off and this “vibe” may turn people away. When you choose to show up in life as who you truly are, at the very core of your heart and soul, you will find people gravitate towards your energy because it feels good and it feels real, and people appreciate people who keep it real. So be yourself and allow those who are drawn to you, to come to you.
“Imagination is more important that knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Visualization is huge when it comes to success. It’s the process of “imagining” the successes you want in life as they have already manifested. But don’t just imagine, go deep and connect to the feelings and emotions you will experience when you achieve your goals and dreams. Step into the feeling of joy, happiness, and excitement and allow that energy to fill you up. Sit with it and embrace it fully and completely. The Universe doesn’t know the difference between fiction and reality, so take advantage of that notion and begin to see your dreams as if they are already right in front of you, as if they have already manifested. Act, “as if.” Engage in the practice of daily visualization and watch as it magically moves you even closer to your desired outcomes.
clarity is power and action is everything
“Be content to act, and leave the talking to others.”
We can have all the dreams we want, however without having clarity and taking action, nothing can come to fruition. Begin by getting crystal clear on your ideal life and how you want it to look in all areas. Financial, career, relationships, spiritual, social life etc. and then become conscious of the choices you make from moment to moment as your choices either take you towards your vision or away from it. There is no time like the present to create a life you love and you need to start somewhere, so dig in deep, find your courage and start designing your destiny. It may seem scary and daunting to take that first step but trust yourself and trust that the Universe is fully supporting you at all times. You don’t have to have it all figured out before you start, just begin to take inspired and aligned action and watch as the magic unfolds.
“When I discover who I am, I’ll be free.”
Self-Awareness is the conscious understanding of one's own thoughts, behaviours, feelings, and actions. When one develops self-awareness, they become a conscious creator of their life. By recognizing that our thoughts, feelings, and emotions act as our guiding force, we can then take control of our inner environment and how we respond to our external environment. Self-awareness helps you better know yourself, which in turn, helps you recognize your strengths and abilities, and uncover your weaknesses. This process involves getting real, honest, and vulnerable with yourself, and it means not being afraid to dig deeply into “self” to check where change may be required in order for growth to take place. Being self-aware can also assist you in becoming a more effective leader. It enables you to take yourself out of a situation to see opinions and perspectives from the eyes of another; this is also called Emotional Intelligence. Overall, developing and enhancing self-awareness will substantially effect not only the relationship you have with yourself, but with everyone around you. It will create more healthy, meaningful, and interpersonal relationships that will contribute to your growth and success.
connecting to your purpose
“There’s no greater gift than to honor your life’s calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.”
When you connect to your purpose, you will begin to live a more meaningful existence. Knowing your purpose will help you stay focused on what truly matters most. When you live your life through purpose, you express it constantly and base your choices, actions and feelings accordingly. One who is aware of their purpose tends to make greater impacts through their work, which serves and inspires others on a deeper soul level. When it comes to purpose however, many think it needs to be this grand ole thing that everyone knows about, but that is not the truth. Your purpose is perhaps being a mother, a father, a great friend or a committed employee/employer. At the very core of it, your purpose, is just being you and showing up in life as your authentic and genuine self. So don’t be discouraged and believe that you don’t have a purpose, or that you need to search for it, it’s simply a matter of doing what you do the very best you can, and it’s also choosing to do only the things that serve you and others in the most beneficial way possible. To get clear on your purpose, find out what brings you the most joy, what brings harmony to your heart, and ask yourself what values mean the most to you. Purpose is not something you find, it’s connecting to what you already are.
believe in yourself
"Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit."
Belief is the root of all creation and when it comes to belief in yourself, this part is so important. If you don’t believe in yourself, and in your dreams and desires, how can you possibly create anything? It’s the ultimate foundation of your success because everything is created based on what you believe. And when it comes to belief, it can’t be 85% or even 90%, it needs to be 100% or nothing at all. You can’t leave room for any doubt. You have to believe in yourself and in your dreams just as much as you believe that there is a sun, a moon, the sky, and the stars. Any limits that you have when it comes to achieving success are simply ones that you place upon yourself, because limits don’t exist unless you create them. Whatever you are setting forth to do in order to achieve inner and outer success, you need to go all in with your belief in self and what you are doing and never allow any outside sources or persuasions influence you otherwise.
“Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.”
I remember from a very young age that I was able to feel the emotions of another. Whether it was a family member, friend, or even a stranger, I could feel what they were feeling. If someone was sad, I felt their sadness, if someone was excited and happy, I could feel their excitement, if a person was mad, I could feel their anger. Being so young however, I had no idea what was going on. I just knew I felt so deeply, and at times, it caused me to become very anxious.
In the past I had considered myself to be "too sensitive" and "overly emotional," and those around me would often say the same. My feelings were easily hurt and I could cry at the drop of a hat. I would often find myself overcome with emotion when someone shared something tragic that had happened to them, and even just sitting with people who weren't talking, I could sense how they were feeling. This caused me to shelter myself and spend a lot of time alone. It became too overwhelming for me to be around people as I would carry their "burdens" around with me. I just couldn't stop thinking about the pain and hurt they were experiencing.
It wasn't until I was much older, and once I started working with energy, that I began to understand what was actually happening. I learned how energy works and that we are all energy beings, and some people are a little more sensitive to the energy of others. I was what one would call an Empath. An Empath is a person who can consciously and unconsciously tune into the emotional state of a another.
After understanding about Empaths and that they are highly sensitive to energies, things started to make more sense to me. Like the fact that I couldn't watch the news, and any kind of violence or cruelty would leave me feeling completely "blue" and with low energy for the entire day. I was holding onto experiences and emotions that were not mine, no wonder why my anxiety was through the roof.
Another interesting thing I noticed was when I found myself spending time with "inauthentic" people, I could sense it, I could feel when someone wasn't being themselves, when they weren't being real. During those kind of interactions, I would find it hard to carry on a conversation, small talk didn't even cut it, and oddly enough, I felt like I couldn't be myself, and so I would repress and go inward. I would avoid if I could those type situations and people because it just didn't feel good.
Sensitive/Empathetic people are very in touch with their feelings and in tune with their bodies. They know when something feels 'off' and they typically only express their emotions with someone if they feel 'safe.' On the other hand, people seem to be very drawn to empathetic people; they feel an instant sense of safety and trust, and will openly share their deep emotional traumas. You will find complete strangers being drawn to the energy of an empath, and I personally believe it's an unconscious connection and inner knowing that they will understand and listen without judgment.
I have now learned how to better manage my emotions, and I'm much more aware when I'm experiencing feelings and emotions that are not mine. I actually ask myself, "is this mine?" If the answer is no, I mentally clear it by envisioning the "uninvited" energy leaving my body. As a Reiki Master and Teacher who works with people, and energy, on almost a daily basis, I have gained a huge understanding of how we as energy beings work.
Here are some things which helped me throughout my journey and may help you as well;
"Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a 'hot mess' or having 'too many issues' are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.
Anthony St. Maarten
I lived many years of my life in complete denial of my reality.
Denial of how unhappy I was. Denial of the fact that my relationships were not healthy. And denial of who I was, who I was really was, at the very core of my being. Living my life in denial meant I had to create masks for many occasions, and for many different people. It meant I had to go against the grain of my own soul, and of my wants and needs. And it meant denying myself the opportunity to experience true happiness and joy.
I'm not even sure I was aware of what I was doing. I had become accustomed to living against my true self, that it became a "normal" way of being. But deep down, I knew something wasn't right, I intuitively knew that what I was doing was not serving me, or anyone else. I was not living in alignment with my truth and my heart. I was not being honest with myself.
I remember all the excuses I gave to others, and to myself. I remember trying to justify my choices because others questioned my happiness, they could see right through me. They felt my suffering, they sensed my inauthenticity.
It came to a point where I was beginning to experience severe anxiety and health issues. Because I was not living "in truth" with my hearts deepest desires, things started showing up in my physical being. I was out of balance and alignment with my self and with my soul.
I needed to do something and I knew what I needed to do. I had to get honest with myself, really, truly and deeply honest with everything. I had to lay it all on the table and look at where I was, what I was doing, and most importantly, why I was doing it. I had to understand myself, and my choices.
So I sunk right in and I went deep. I realized there was so much "unconscious" stuff going on beneath the surface that it was dictating my choices and controlling my decisions. I knew the moment I got honest with myself, everything would change. And it did.
Sometimes we want things to be, and to appear so perfect to others that we sacrifice our own soul, and we often do this for acceptance. We neglect our truth and what our heart really wants because we fear what others will think, what we will think of ourselves, and we fear the outcome of change, and of uncertainty. So we live our lives without being truthful to ourselves. Not just in relationships but in other areas of our lives as well such as our careers. We go about our days being who we are expected to be just to please others, we wear the masks we create, and we force a fixed smile to hide the tears that are screaming to come out.
We lie to ourselves until we decide to tell ourselves the truth.
Honesty is healing, it brings change, and it sets you free. It brings new breath and new life to your lungs. It's the key to unlocking your truth, your authenticity and your true self.
The most important thing I tell myself often, and as morbid as it may sound, is that I am going to die one day. And I refuse to die with the beautiful essence of who I am buried beneath a mask of someone who I am not.
It's okay to admit your marriage isn't working, that you do not like your job, it's alright to leave friendships that drain you and make you feel bad about yourself. Because at the end of the day, if your heart isn't in it, you shouldn't be either.
Trust yourself enough to get honest with yourself, and give yourself permission to be you, in a world where everyone expects you to be someone else.
When you know something or someone in your life is unhealthy or unproductive, that you have grown beyond where they are and where they want to keep you, you must let go. If you tell yourself you do not see it when you do, or if you tell yourself it will get better, you are not being honest with yourself. Stop trying to fix things or change things. Simply let go.
Vanessa Marie Dewsbury is a Reiki Master/Teacher, Mindset and Self Development Coach and author of #1 Best Selling Book, "Heart Is Where The Home Is."
Inspired by her health issues in 2012, Vanessa began her journey of natural healing after unsuccessful attempts to find answers through Western medicine. She eventually found relief through natural healing therapies such as acupuncture, meditation, yoga, and natural herbs.
Learn more about Vanessa.
There's a funny thing we, as humans, often do. We try to resist what is. We don't accept our lives as they are, and eventually we become resentful for things not turing out the way we expected, the way we planned.
Here's the thing, if we aren't happy or content with an aspect of our lives, we need to do something to change it, and change can not happen without intention and action. We need to recognize what's not working for us. But it's also important to accept where we are, as resistance only causes us grief, anger, resentment, and frustration. Which is fine to a point; sometimes this is what fuels change, however, if this is a constant state, something will eventually give.
On the flip side, if you are one who planned your entire life, but it did not go according to your plan, and you refuse to accept your life as it is, you simply can not enjoy it or appreciate it. You can't be completely happy living in resistance.
I was talking to a friend recently who appeared to have a lovely life. She had sweet children, a caring husband, and a great career, but she often spoke about how she thought she would be living somewhere else, and that she had only planned to have one child, not two. She would "complain" that life wasn't what she thought it would be, and it really bothered her, enough to talk about it quite frequently.
She was caught up in the fact that life had happened beyond her control, and that it had a plan of its own. Her ego was trapped in what should have been and she was unconsciously and consciously refusing to allow herself to accept the beautiful life she had. I shared with her the importance of acceptance, and how the more she resisted her life, the more she resented her life. I also spoke about gratitude and how life-changing it can truly be. When we are thankful for everything and everyone around us, it puts us in a state of peace and contentment, and takes us out of a state of constant need, want, and resistance.
I had my friend write a physical letter to the Universe and I suggested she write out every angry word she needed to get out of her system. Why she was angry, and how angry she was that her life was't what she expected and planned. I then had her shift emotions to acceptance and gratitude, thanking the Universe for her beautiful family, her amazing husband and her fruitful career. This "simple" act of writing the letter, completely released the resistance and deep upset she had held onto for so many years.
It changed everything for her. She found, and felt joy again.
Happiness can exist only in acceptance. – George Orwell
We need to remember that while we are in control of ourselves, we have no control over every outcome. We can't control what the Universe delivers to us and decides we need for our growth, and for our journey. If we can come to a place of acceptance, of every element cast upon us, and choose how we respond to each outcome, we can then find true peace within.
Acceptance simply means being okay with what is, embracing what is, and not giving time or attention to what isn't. Because what isn't, wasn't meant to be. We can end our own suffering when we accept with grace what life delivers to us. Understand the Universe is always supporting you.
Remember you aren't expected to accept circumstances that aren't healthy for you, or serving you purpose. If that is where you are, perhaps it's time to dig deep within your soul and recognize what needs to change and move forward with courage to make those necessary changes that your heart is asking for.
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. – Lao Tzu
For the longest time I would feel guilty for taking time for myself, for spending the day not doing anything at all. I would beat myself up if I wasn't being "productive," and I"d shame myself for simply resting.
Some days I just wanted to relax however I would feel badly, telling myself I was being lazy and that I should be doing something. I would think of all the housework that needed to be done, all the blogs I wanted to write, and the business I needed to finish. Even when I was "relaxing," I was never really relaxing, my mind would not stop. The inner critic would not let me be.
It was getting so bad that my self care needs were not being met and, in turn, I would slowly burn out. This happened every few months. I would become so depleted that it felt like I had no energy, I would be in pain and I would suffer emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. I was ignoring the mind, body, and soul connection: the most important connection of all as it keeps us in balance and harmony.
I needed to stop feeling badly for taking time for myself and I needed to stop feeling guilty and shameful for putting my needs first.
Something needed to change. I couldn't keep having these "body and soul breakdowns" every few months; it wasn't healthy for me or those around me.
While I was experiencing feelings of guilt during some down time one afternoon, a thought came to me. I could give myself permission to be still. So I said out loud to myself, "I give myself permission to be, to rest, to take time for myself. And I give myself permission to put my work and household duties on hold for the day while I fill my soul up with self love, self care, and undivided attention."
The moment I gave myself permission, my soul let out a sigh of relief; my body relaxed and I could feel a sense of ease in the very cells of my body. I could breathe more deeply. It was beautiful, it was powerful.
I soon incorporated this "tool" into my Spiritual Tool Box, but not only in regards to giving myself permission, but also situations and people. I discovered that when I gave permission for things to turn out differently than I had anticipated, and for situations with people to happen as they needed to, I was no longer bothered or upset by the outcome like I used to be. I was not disappointed because I had no expectation of how things should go, and how things should be.
Remember when you were younger and you needed permission from your parents to do all the things you wanted to do, you bugged and you begged for it? Once permission was "granted", you were free to do the very thing you wanted to do. That's how it feels to give yourself permission. And when we consciously and energetically give permission for external circumstances to happen as they shall, you feel less stressed because you're no longer trying to control what "should be."
We can be very hard on ourselves at times, and we can forget and neglect the importance of mind, body, and soul connection. But the truth is, in order to be able to give as best we can, we need to take time to just be, and just breathe.
If you want to experience true freedom and a lot less stress, start by giving yourself permission to do the things you need to do, and for things to be the way they need to be.
“An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.”