Follow the pull of your heart. Avoid if you can the need to push that which resists.

How can you tell when something is destined to be? You feel an internal pull, an excitement, it motivates and inspires you. You yearn to seek more and when you follow the pull, it becomes effortless and graceful. You approach it with sheer joy and curiosity.  It just feels right.

When you are pushing, you feel resistance. You lack the energy but still muster up strength to try to put the circle through the square.  It can feel forced, draining, time consuming, and it almost feels in vain. When you push, you push against the grain, hence the resistance and hesitation you know your heart feels, but your mind sometimes denies.

We do this in relationships, friendships, business, careers and in many aspects of our lives. We try to push to gain control, but truthfully, what isn't meant to be, isn't meant to be.

The need to control can stem from fear.  Perhaps you felt you had no control in your childhood or in your past relationships so you consciously and unconsciously decided that in order for things to work the exact way you want them too, and in order to avoid ever experincing pain or failure, you try to control.  Truthfully however, we can't avoid pain, it's actually needed for our soul development and the more we try to control what is out of our hands, the more frustration, disappointment and anger we experience.  When we resist what persists, we can potentially miss an opportunity for growth and change and it's going against the natural flow of the Universe. 

It's important to follow the pull of your heart, to allow it to lead you to where it needs to go.  When we surrender to what is, instead of focusing on what isn't, we begin to align ourselves with our journeys truth.  When you follow the pull, and allow the flow to engulf you, the magic begins to happen.

How do you surrender to what is?  By accepting the moment as it is.  We learn to surrender by trusting the moments we can't control and by breathing into the moments when we feel helpless and hopeless.  Trust and belief will be your biggest savor, the affirmation, I trust in the moments I can't control, can send a message of reassurance to your internal self which can help you in moments of panic or anxiety.  Meditations can also help with this process and meditation can be truly life changing.

Releasing control will bring you closer to your higher self, the house of your intuition, the self that wants to help guide you and wants the best for you.  When you let go of the attachment to the outcome, you won't experience disappointment.  Be okay with the fact that not everything will go the way you planned it too, and not everything is supposed too.  Think of all the things you tried to control in the past and how you're probably better off that most of it didn't work out the way you intended it to.  Life certainly has it's own agenda!

Believe that everything is created for your highest good and to serve you purpose in some way, trust that all will be okay, even when it's not, in the moment.

"Fall into the ocean of the pull, be taken by the waves of the flow, cease to swim the other way. It's much easier to allow, than to control. 

The flow beholds freedom, a peace of mind, and a sweet joy of life."

Vanessa Marie Dewsbury

Being a sensitive person can have a strong effect on your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health.

There are some people who are more aware of how they feel energetically when around certain people and in certain environments.  They can sense unauthentic people and those who are on a lower vibration/frequency and generally these people are referred to as empaths.

There can however be a 'downside' if you are affected by energies, it can make you feel anxious, angry, sad, even depressed after encounters with people including family, friends, co-workers and strangers.  You can feel depleted, drained, and worn out and you may want to hibernate and not see anyone for days, however there are ways that you can manage the intensity of the effects that lower energies can have on you.

Three years ago in June 2014 I opened my business Soul Alive Barrie.  I was seeing clients weekly and soon found I was left feeling depleted and exhausted after sessions.  I was taking on the emotional and physical pain they were carrying with them in their energy field.  I experienced this for quite awhile until I came to a realization.  I am a strong believer that our reality is created based on our personal belief and I had believed wholeheartedly that we can carry the lower energy of others, and that is what I was doing.  So I decided to change my belief.  Instead I became an "observer" of the different energies I was feeling and not an "absorber" of them.  I would feel the sensation of the energy interaction but I wouldn't hold onto it.  I stopped believing that I had to carry lower energy of others around with me all the time.

Now when I feel or experience a certain physical pain (during a session) or strong emotions in the presence of others I ask myself, is this mine?  And I wait for my body to answer.  When I hear 'no' it almost immediately passes.  This tool has been very helpful especially on days when I wake up feeling grumpy and my day hasn't even started yet.  I ask myself, my body, is this my energy, my emotion and I listen to the response from my body.  Using this method can dissipate the energy quite quickly.  I have begun to notice that when unfortunate things happen in the world, and we all become aware of it, I can feel very down.  I can take on the sadness or anger that is energetically being expressed and emitted by large amounts of people all at once.  So again, I recognize that they feelings may not be my own and I release the energy of the emotion.

It can be hard to act as an observer in situations and not be affected by the energies of others, but it can be done.  The important thing to remember is the experience of others is not our own, we don't have to carry it with us. It's also important to understand that your perception of someone may be that they are 'negative' however that may not be their own perception hence why they act and behave the way they do, some can't see outside of themselves and lack outer awareness of others, let alone inner awareness of self.  So perhaps viewing someone's life or energy as "negative" it should instead be observed without judgment and with understanding that is the life they are choosing to live.  It is however your choice whether you want to be a part of that energy frequency or not.

I believe residual energy can be left behind and can 'attach' itself to us but I am now mindful of what I believe and what I choose to take on.  Because I am aware of this, I practice various methods to cleanse the energy using White Sage and it really works wonders.  You can pick up sage sprays that you can carry with you as well which you can use after unpleasant interactions.  I can still feel uneasy in the malls and crowed places, I've just become more mindful of how I want to allow the energies of others to interact with my own and I'm more aware of what I believe and perceive.

It can be hard to live in a world when we are sensitive and caring beings as any sort of violence, hatred or abuse can shatter our souls so it's important as well to be thoughtful of what we expose ourselves to.  Violent movies, news, certain media sites etc. should be avoided if we want to remain in balance and in charge of our own energies.  Even the relationships and friendships that we enter and engage in should be good for our health in all aspects.  If something feels toxic, don't hesitate to set boundaries or walk away from what doesn't feel good.  If you experience this with co-workers, perhaps bring a salt rock lamp and essential oils to your work place such as Frankincense, Juniper, Lavender, Palo Santo to help keep any lower energies at bay.

And self-care is crucial.  Take time to replenish and revive your soul, spend more time in nature and work on developing self awareness so that you are fully aware of how to control and respond to a situation as oppose to react to one.  Once we gain control of our own energies, we can learn how to better respond to the energies of others.

“You will meet many people who try to harm you, pull you down or back stab you. Don’t worry! They can’t really succeed unless you allow them to. Fill your aura with so much love and energy that that it will disallow any efforts to harm you!”
~ Neelam Saxena Chandra

Vanessa Marie Dewsbury
Reiki Master | Spiritual Mentor | Author
"heart is where the home is"
Available on Amazon.ca & Amazon.com